Yesterday, right after I posted I came across a blog by Julia Sweeney. She has a new recording out called "Letting go of God". SO I spent quite a lot of time reading her blog and then the forum, and it was very interesting reading. My first inclination was to think she was right, and I had to sort of smash it down to allow myself to listen to me for a change. Not everyone else.
Here is my interpretation of god. I don't envision this entity as having any real form, or any anthropomorphic qualities. I just need to feel like there is a there, there, when I am praying. I am not even sure what I do is actually praying. I believe that there is only one of them, whatever it is. I believe that nature, earth, sky, air and god are all the same thing. I believe that science is completely compatible with my creator. If it is held that god is responsible for all, then it stands to reason that it is also responsible for knowledge given.
One of my big pet peeves with organized Christianity is that God is supposedly responsible for all good, but evil is out of his hands. If god is responsible for all, then god gives the scientists the knowledge they have. It works for me.
I believe that a wiccan spell is just a different for a prayer. It is a request for what is needed. It is simply put into a different form that an on your knees kind.
But, while these are what I am currently believing, I am open to new ideas. I can't see myself ever being very religious, but I do feel like I need a bit more meaning in my life. However that happens.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Monday, April 14, 2008
The purpose of this blog
Like many women of a certain age, as I get older, I am becoming a little more introspective and trying to find a more meaningful life. I have always been pretty good at articulating what I don't believe in, but had never really put into words the things I do believe. But am not one to believe a list of "What we believe" beliefs, and so mine are a mishmash of so many things. But the core of it all is, I believe them. I have thought of them over time, but then I, along with 5 million other people, read Elizabeth Gilbert's book "Eat, Pray, Love" and it stuck such a cord, deep within me, as it did with so many other people. After I read it and was so moved by it, I started to think about my beliefs. There were certain things I knew and sort of took for granted that I believed them and others, I fought tooth and nail, not wanting to participate in the judeo-christian model of religion. The feminist in me.
Anyway, so this blog is my diary about my spiritual explorations and thoughts spurred by those. I am trying to document the gathering of my own personal spiritual path. You can call it religion or not. I choose not. I occasionally use certain terms, simply because that is what I am compelled to use, no matter how much I have fought using them. By this I mean the word God. I fight it so much, because it smacks of the patriarchal Deity, and big daddy, and I rebel against that very strongly. But when I am quiet and pray, God is what comes out of my mouth, and so I have stopped fighting it. Later I will explain my concept of that entity.
I also consider my creativity to be a spiritual pursuit, and a way of helping me get in tough with myself. SO there will be the occasional sharing of those things too, but not too often, because I am an enthusiastic artist, but not a particularly good one. I am big fan of really bright paint! But in many ways that is also a spiritual thing. Bright happy colors make me happy. Making a big happy picture makes me happy.
I have no spouse, boyfriend ( I originally typed boy fiend, which is sort of how I view them right now) or children and am alone, but very happily so. This affords me the opportunity to explore much of this in a fairly selfish way, as I need not worry about other household members' feelings. So, if you might think "but what happens to her family when she does these things??" nothing. I have family close by, but no family or anything else living with me.
So I would love some company on this journey. Hop on board if you feel like it. Or not. I am looking forward to the trip.
Anyway, so this blog is my diary about my spiritual explorations and thoughts spurred by those. I am trying to document the gathering of my own personal spiritual path. You can call it religion or not. I choose not. I occasionally use certain terms, simply because that is what I am compelled to use, no matter how much I have fought using them. By this I mean the word God. I fight it so much, because it smacks of the patriarchal Deity, and big daddy, and I rebel against that very strongly. But when I am quiet and pray, God is what comes out of my mouth, and so I have stopped fighting it. Later I will explain my concept of that entity.
I also consider my creativity to be a spiritual pursuit, and a way of helping me get in tough with myself. SO there will be the occasional sharing of those things too, but not too often, because I am an enthusiastic artist, but not a particularly good one. I am big fan of really bright paint! But in many ways that is also a spiritual thing. Bright happy colors make me happy. Making a big happy picture makes me happy.
I have no spouse, boyfriend ( I originally typed boy fiend, which is sort of how I view them right now) or children and am alone, but very happily so. This affords me the opportunity to explore much of this in a fairly selfish way, as I need not worry about other household members' feelings. So, if you might think "but what happens to her family when she does these things??" nothing. I have family close by, but no family or anything else living with me.
So I would love some company on this journey. Hop on board if you feel like it. Or not. I am looking forward to the trip.
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